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Tribe365™ – Is Work Ruining Your Love Life?

03 October 2018

Ok. So has anyone ever got home, feeling so drained from work that it has affected the way you interact with your loved ones? A colleague/boss wound you up a little too much, a colleague/boss spoke in a way that belittled you, everything at work is entrenched in hierarchy/bureaucracy limiting any progression, things could be so much simpler? The list goes on and on. There are so many examples of what can leave a mark on your thoughts at home. Anything that travels home with you can have extremely negative consequences.

We have focussed on our love life in the headline; since sex is usually the first thing to get a little rocky, but it can get much worse, right? Patience is gone, volatility increases, sense of humour dissipates, even worse, you internalise your feelings and become a ticking time bomb. All because of work! I mean, how bad can it get? Sadly, the truth is that the worst things can happen because of negative work environments. So, what can we do to get it right?

Well I suppose the first option is to get out of dodge, leg it, quit, run away – whatever you feel represents getting out of there as quick as possible. That would certainly remove the issue, and let’s face it if you are even considering that option things must be fairly bad. But let’s get real, quitting a job isn’t always that easy – bills to pay, mouths to feed, lifestyles to support, lives to live. Work is important.

So, making that decision to quit needs to be something very well planned and thought out.

Let’s assume leaving work abruptly isn’t the option you want to go down (for now). What else is open to resolve whatever issues exist at work? How can you improve that sex life? What can we do to ensure behaviour at work doesn’t make us feel frustrated and stressed? Well, fix the culture in your organisation, of course! Everyone will start behaving the way you want and expect, everyone starts doing what they are meant to do, how they are meant to, and everything is hunky dory. Simple, right? In a way it is from our point of view, however let’s look a little more closely.

What is Culture?

Well, culture is a mixture of Direction, where we all want to head, Connection, what we all bring to the party and need to highlight in our behaviour, and Supercharging, putting the cherry on top (motivation, structures, reporting etc.) All of these things define how we behave. FACT. Now, what do companies have to do to ensure their culture is clear and only the right behaviours for the company are happening?

Loads of stuff, right? Well, has anyone seen posters in their office of Purpose (Vision, Mission, Focus) and DNA (Belief, Values)? That’s a bit of work from Direction. Have you ever done work on Myers Briggs and Team Role Preferences? That should start the Connection work. I am sure you’ll have done some of this and your company will have some idea of the importance. How does it feel? Does everyone behave in a way that reflects all that work?

If the work hasn’t been done at all then you have no idea what culture your organisation has and you should start to ask questions; Where is my company going to go? Understanding what type of people you work with and what you are all trying to achieve is essential to building a clear way to behave in the office. This would at least make sure you are all heading along the same path and reduce negative interaction, and ultimately start to improve the time away from work.

What is Direction, Connection and Supercharging?

If you are doing some of the work in Direction, Connection and Supercharging, how does it feel? Is it a bit like the 70’s family shown in The Waltons? Has it become merely a corporate gimmick? Don’t be shy if this is the case as that represents about 98% of the workplaces we have encountered! The usual causes for this are that the work done doesn’t reflect the majority, the work was done a long time ago and/or things have simply changed since.

Sadly this work IS needed 24/7 365 days a year. Why? Well, we are in a constantly changing world, new people hired/fired, new business streams, new clients – everything, absolutely everything and anything can alter the course of behaviour in a company. The key is constantly understanding where things are right now and choosing what remedial action is needed. Luckily we have the solution: Tribe365™ (of course we do, otherwise I wouldn’t have spent a couple of hours writing this.) If you are curious do head to!

If you are doing Direction, Connection and Supercharging work and it is bang on and reflects exactly where the company is heading and the behaviours that should be reflected in each individual, then if you are finding it tough and there is friction, it might be because you don’t fit in and you need to sit and reflect on that. This would entirely merit a ‘get out of dodge’ answer to the earlier question of what should be done if work is affecting your attitudes at home.


Understanding the culture of where we work is essential to feeling comfortable and being able to adjust and fit in, it also ensures others do the same. This will lead to less friction at work and much happier lives away from work which should increase all relationship activity, which is great news for us all. Of course, if you can’t buy into the culture of the company, you need to get out of there fast.

We, at The Change Consultancy, have been working on the Tribe365™ programme. It’s all about getting the culture in your organisation to where it needs to be. Tribe365™ shines a light on your culture at work and brings 100% visibility, 365 days a year to where things are, and where they should be. This is important to creating the happiest, highest performing workplaces possible – leading to very happy homes in turn.

Oliver Randall

"People are the most important consideration in any change." (On Change) "We are focused on exploring the world of change and helping it develop. All our thoughts try to challenge the status quo and take Change to a clearer, faster initiative. We simplify change." (On TCC)